The Back Back Room

Serious Cirrus

2009-12-23T13:37:00.001-05:00

Enjoy, Angela!

The Bigger, The Better

2009-11-20T20:23:00.001-05:00

Is it just me or does food prepared by fat people taste way better? It's almost as if they prepare it in the way they would want it prepared. A little bigger. A little better. A little tastier.

The overweight lady yesterday morning at Tim Hortons handed me my breakfast sandwich and said , "Mmmmm". I said, "You know it!"

SSPU Live @ 228 Younge

2009-10-17T15:53:00.005-04:00

I really think Corus Entertainment should sell their Live @ 228 Younge acoustic concert series through iTunes.

They keep getting better and better.

Vive la résistance!

2009-10-15T23:36:00.003-04:00

Canadian Press:

1 in 4 Quebecers would go to work with H1N1 flu: poll

They're calling it a common-sense approach to the battle against swine flu.

I found this response on the Quebec website:

Influenza A(H1N1) – Fighting rumours — October 7, 2009

Lately, several rumours were published on the Internet and also released by media. Some of these rumours were made out of the imagination of a few people, others were sometimes the result of opinions, no less than respectable, while other rumours had been filling up a need for certainty in a context where information could, at times, seem complex. In our society of free minds and in the actual Internet environment, this Website chooses, in respect with its editorial politic, to edit exact, accurate, pertinent and legitimate information, as regards of everyone’s preoccupations. When surrounded by questions and uncertainty, it had been demonstrated in several studies that surfers will rely on Websites introducing information they believe are trustworthy. This is in fact a good way to fight rumours.

a strange loop

2009-10-09T23:02:00.003-04:00

North East Lake Erie, Aug 13 2009, 5:23 am

Give Us Your Vote

2008-10-27T21:43:00.003-04:00

Not many people are reverse alarm-setters.
That is, set an alarm to go to bed rather than setting an alarm to wake up.

Use Somebody

2008-10-26T16:59:00.004-04:00

I want a medic alert bracelet that says "Awesome."
It would really cut the tension in the event of an emergency.

Chuck Norris: The Cause of & Answer to Global Warming

2007-12-27T16:35:00.000-05:00

Chuck Norris killed the electric car.

Nitrogen isn’t leaching; it’s trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can punch atmospheric carbon into sequestration.

In February of 2005, Chuck Norris vacationed on the Larsen B Ice Shelf on the Antarctic Peninsula.

The globe isn’t warming; Chuck Norris is just getting angry.

To reveal historical trends in our earth’s climate, computer models use carbon samples from under Chuck Norris’ finger nails, dating back to when he killed the dinosaurs.

"I'm all thumbs."

2007-11-20T10:03:00.000-05:00

I think a reevaluation of the phrase is in order.
Think of the grip you would have if you were in fact 'all thumbs'.

You'd be an Olympic gold medalist Jar Opener.

"Watch me change the oil filter on this car!" Bam. One twist.
People would line up for a massage from you.
In the kitchen,your hands would double as food processors.

Ending a job interview with an 'all thumbs' handshake would not only get you the job, but you'd probably be hired for a better position than the one you interviewed for.

You'd never fumble the ball.
You'd win every UFC fight you entered.
You'd be able to survive indefinitely in the wild with nothing but your hands ... living on bear meat.

All types of removal would generally be easier...
Drywall removal
Tree removal
Illegally parked motor scooter removal.

"I'm all thumbs."

Dangerous.
If you're 'all thumbs'... I'm staying out of your way.
Don't touch my baby.
Don't knock on my door.
Don't use my utensils.
Don't test my watermelons for ripeness at the grocery store.
Don't type on my keyboard.
Don't open a Coke near me.

Politically Incorrect Family Feud

2007-11-14T21:04:00.000-05:00

So in the spirit of intimate & interactive blogs,
I thought we'd play a game.
There's not as much thinking involved this week...
no saber-tooth tigers, no 'drinking' dogs.

You all know how the game Family Feud works right?
Now, what if the surveys were slightly on the unethical side?
That would certainly add a twist to things.

I wrote these survey questions a little while ago.
Feel free to shout out your best guess as you read each one.

Ready?

Something that blind people tend to use more of...

A crime that white people are more likely to be arrested for...

An ethnic food that give you the squirts...

A common word shouted during sexual intercourse...

A profession in which the majority of people are obese...

A popular game played by poor children...

Survey says.....

It's Your Festival

2007-11-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

I can't study because I'm busy thinking of stupid things.
Help me out here...

When is it not ok to smile?

When being assaulted in public (people witnessing will get the wrong idea and maybe not help you)
When there is an abundance of seats on the bus and the next guy who comes on sits right next to you (Nelle)
In a funeral procession (danielha)

When you give a dog food, you are feeding it.
When you give a dog water, you are ______ it .

drinking it (Rob)
hydrating it (Gravey)
watering it (Nelle)
giving it water (Ange)

If we (humans) were wild animals at some point in history,
how was evolving a necessary 8 hour sleep period
of near-unconscious beneficial? Why weren't we all killed
by saber-tooth tigers while we slept all night like idiots.

We can't see at night (Russell)
We evolved the ability to build protective shelters to sleep in
Saber-Tooth's also slept for 8 hour periods, so we slept at the same time (Nelle)
We had the PowerRangers watching our backs (Gravey)

These things keep me up at night.
Your thoughts would be more than appreciated.

The Gospel According to Prejudice

2007-11-01T00:32:00.000-04:00

What did everyone have against tax collectors in biblical times?
It was their JOB to collect money from you, they weren’t trying to wrong you!
I don’t give the mail man a piece of my mind when he brings the bills, do I?
Ok, money was tight. A few tax collectors may have skimmed from the top. Pinched, if you will.
But if ANY ONE of those poor people scored a job as a tax collector… They’d do the same thing!
If I was a peasant living in a sand hut in Israel during Jesus-time, and my son came home and said

“Dad… I killed the interview! I got the job! I’m a tax collector!”

You know what I’d do?

My Lotto 649 happy dance.

This is about as social as I get now.

2007-10-22T10:56:00.000-04:00

10 minutes.
I haven't had 10 minutes for days now.
University steals those 10 minutes, 10 minutes at a time,
leaving you with sore eyes, coffee breath, and no money.

The University Centre (UC) here in Guelph had its driveway revamped late this past summer. The Guelph Transit, Go, and Greyhound buses all have their own stops at different sections of the driveway now. It's organized & efficient.

Installed during the renovation were street lamps (about every 20 yards or so). On each of the lamp posts is a sticker. It reads...

Of course, I found this hilarious and peeled the sticker off, sticking it to my binder.

You'll never guess what happened this morning.
One fell. And not only did it fall...
It fell catastrophically.

A bus drove into it, full blast, throwing it to the ground like an enormous metal fly swatter, dragging it 30 feet.
Did his brakes fail? Was he drunk?
Let's put it this way, had someone been standing where the pole slammed the concrete, they would no longer be someone.

Lawsuit? Yes. Grounds? No warning sticker.

Friday is Kanye

2007-10-12T18:03:00.000-04:00

"N-n-n-now, my flow Is in the pocket like wallets, I got the bounce like hydrolics I can't call it, I got the swerve like alchoooool-ics!"

It's Friday in Guelph.
Friday in Guelph means a lot of things.

Friday means beer.
Friday means jokes.
Friday means music.
Friday means ...studying. (You know who are.)
etc.

No matter how you look at it though, Friday is the day of the week with the highest potential of monumentality.

Lauren may come to Guelph tonight!
D & C are having a block party.
A more accurate description would be...
'4 separate houses are having a party on D & C's street.'
Because really... what constitutes a 'block' party?
Does everyone/house have to participate?
Do the houses need to be sharing property lines?
I've always thought there had to be some
form of street blockade involved.
D & C don't know the rules of block party. I assure you.

Here's to Fridays.

Holy Diver, Sole Survivor

2007-10-10T23:25:00.000-04:00

You'd think that a 330-hectare university campus, serving over 16,600 undergraduate and graduate students, could offer a few places to sit and study at 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon in October.

Negative.

I listened to an entire Dio album in the time it took me to find a spot to sit. And the spot I found? Loud. Crowded. Incondusive to studying. And an hour and a half later, I was kicked out. "Sorry, we're closing this area for a private function."

How do I deal with this stress?
I come home and take advice from Leonard.

It usually consists of... "Lay down. Relax."
or "Look at something inanimate for a very long time."

Genious.

Pumpkins

2007-10-08T20:09:00.000-04:00

You could spend a full day picking out a pumpkin.
"That one's perfect!" (flip it over) DISEASED. (flip it back)

It must have a good 'handle'.
It must be able to stand on its own.
No green. None.
So many rules!

Those skinny long ones?
Someone should go through and throw
those ones away before we pick.
They are the Jessica Spano of the pumpkin world.

The farmer watches and smiles and smokes.
He knows the best pumpkins are on skids
in the parking lot, selling for $10
He picked them before we got there.

Are We Family?

2007-10-03T22:35:00.000-04:00

I've decided that the only place you can truly say what you want is in the sole presence of a blood relative (or relatives). Anything that is bugging you, tiny or gigantor, you can tell your sister, your brother, your uncle... straight up, and nothing would happen. Well maybe a little argument or two, but essentially nothing would change other than the fact that they now know how you feel.

Although you may say you have 'close friends' that you can tell anything to, the fact of the matter is... no matter how close you are, you could bust a 2 minute rant that would absolutely rattle that person. Then what would happen? They'd peace out of your life instantly.

But what if they can't peace out? What if you live with them?
In this case, if you're good friends but have an explosive 'stab you with my words' rant you need to get off your chest... you're screwed. Your friendship will be lost and things will be awkward. Forever.

Shook the Book

2007-10-02T11:44:00.000-04:00

I did it.

Last night, as I was untagging myself out of 100 recently added, stupid pictures, I decided to deactivated my facebook account.
You can't actually delete it. Can you? It didn't even give me the option. I would have opt'd for it though. Believe me.

By some, it has been accurately termed a "user-allowed privacy destroyer".
I want my life to be mine again without the windows looking in.
Do I have anything to hide? No, not at all. I simply want to tell people how my weekend was and for them to be hearing it for the first time when i do tell them instead of already having commented of the picture of the event I am describing.

And if i wanted to keep in touch with people in my past... I would have never have lost touch with them in the first place.
I only have a few faces that matter to me... and if you're one of them, I'll tell it to your face.

sod off

2007-07-11T21:25:00.000-04:00

I work at a hospital that specializes in palliative care.
Today I re-sodded the edges of the pathway that leads to the "smoker's hut".

90% of the staff smoke.

They want to be IN the green velvet bags they currently carry OUT of the hospital.

You know what looks like green velvet?

Sod.

Full circle.

things are gunna get brighter

2007-07-10T20:18:00.001-04:00

Everything will be destroyed.
Your ill new RDS sweater will be destroyed.
The screen you read this on will be destroyed.
Your body will be destroyed.

None of those things matter.

Love can't be destroyed; only directed.

To the Dancer & the Drummer, hang in there.